Sometimes we are given glimpses into the character of our children, and when that happens I always want to sit back and give it the moment it deserves. My daughter and I were sitting poolside on a family vacation recently, enjoying a rare moment alone, catching one another up on life.
She shared how the same issue kept coming up in a relationship with a friend, despite several strategies on her part to find some kind of resolution. She was processing out loud, wondering if maybe she needed to take a break, not wanting to let resentment build to the point of saying something she couldn’t take back. The last thing she wanted to do was cause her friend pain or damage the relationship. I was mostly just listening, familiar with her dilemma, knowing there were no easy answers. After a moment of quiet reflection she said,
“I’ve already decided I’m going to do the right thing, I’m just not sure what that is yet.”
Our conversation was interrupted just then in the best of ways. My husband and son in law returned from a trip to Costco, and the grand babies started waking up from their naps, joining us outside. But later, as I was falling asleep that night, I thought again about what she had said and how it was such a beautiful reflection of the condition of her heart. She had already decided that regardless of the actions of her friend, her conflicted feelings about the situation, or the fact that there seemed to be no good present solution to an ongoing problem, she was going to do what was right.
When we can take everything that we’ve been taught and decide ahead of time that, regardless of external forces in the form of people or circumstances, we are determined to do the right thing no matter what . . . we can know for sure that “mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual” have been internalized.
Oxford Dictionary says that is the very definition of character. God calls it spiritual transformation.
It’s as good as it gets as a parent when a child grows up and takes everything you and others have taught them, sifts through it all, and decides on their own to keep what is good and true. Seeing them make a shift from simply having acquired knowledge of right and wrong, to incorporating those principles into their daily lives is the joy John talks about.
3 John 4:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
Can you recall the moment or season of your life when you realized your faith became your own?
Or, if you’re not a person of faith, can you remember becoming consciously aware that you were no longer making good choices simply because your parents or other adults in authority were telling you to? If so, what age were you?
If you’re a parent, share a moment from your own life that you have witnessed your child be intentional about doing the right thing, especially when it was particularly hard to do.
hindsight 