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LOVE determines your “NET” worth

Do you know what you’re worth? If so, who or what gave you your value?

In my previous post I shared what I thought was the most important thing I know walking into 2020. The idea that it doesn’t matter what else we do well, if we are not loving people well.

That can be really hard to do sometimes, especially if we are depending solely our own strength to do it.  I’m thinking generally, but also specifically about how we can “love people well” on social media.  Love is a strong word you say. So it is. But it’s what we are going to need if we are to change the way we relate to one another online, and in real life. 

We are going to need a lot more than to simply “like” one another.

I love the idea of social media.  I love learning about people and relationships, and I am all in for anything that provides healthy connection.  But in many ways, social media has become an outlet for every form of abuse you can think of.  We seem to have lost all sense of decorum, along with every good thing we have been taught about how to treat others.  

We humans like to appear socially appropriate, so we try as hard as we can to live life inside what we think those parameters are.  Our ability to do just that on social media, however, seems to go right out the window the second people disagree. 

Because we also really like to be right.  

The sad thing is, our capacity for both empathy and understanding is so limited when we choose to see life solely from our own perspective.  There is no listening or learning going on inside our own personal echo chambers.  But imagine what would happen if we could see ourselves and others through God’s eyes? What do you think He sees when He looks at us?  When He looks at you? What value do you think He places on each of our lives?

We don’t have to try and imagine.

No matter where you stand today on issues of faith, almost everyone knows and believes we are all born with a moral compass.  An innate understanding that there is good and bad, right and wrong in this world.  I believe that God has created us with that compass so that ultimately, we can find Him. 

When I find myself searching for answers in this life, my faith persuades me to look to what God has to say about things.  When it comes to our value, who knows better than the Creator Himself, the worth and purpose of His creation?   

Most of us have no idea how much God values and loves us.

I feel so compelled to share what God has to say about us.  To speak especially to those who are made to feel like they don’t measure up.  Those whose voices are shushed and discounted as irrelevant.  To those who are made to feel less than in an way.

It may be something you’ve heard a million times or never even once before.  But I can’t think of a more important time in history to reiterate a more important message. To repeat what God has literally been saying since the beginning of time.  There are so many voices, so much noise, in our world today.  It’s so critical to cut through it all and decipher what is real and good and true.  

So here goes . . .

God doesn’t play favorites.  He “likes” and loves each of us the same, no matter what.  He also knew that we would all need rescuing from ourselves and our sin.  Sin isn’t used a lot in mainstream conversation today, so it can seem like a really weird word to use.  But sin is simply anything and everything we do that causes us to fall short of God’s perfect moral law.  Every bad thing you can think of.  Everything listed in the 10 Commandments and then some.  It includes all the ways we mistreat one another, in both the real and virtual worlds.  

Even if we think we only fall “short”, and that we are overall a “good” person in our own minds, the list of ways we sin on a daily basis is long. Humanity continues to come up with new ways to rebel against God and hurt one another.  But all of it can be traced back to the original sin.  

Not believing the truth about who God says he is.

Adam and Eve were guilty of it and so is every one of us that has been born since.  They didn’t want to be told there was that one thing they couldn’t have, even when they were given access to everything else.  They didn’t want to believe anything should be off-limits.  They didn’t believe God when He said there would be consequences.  

Ultimately, they didn’t like being told no.

And neither do we.  We’re all born with the idea that if we want something, we should get it.  If you don’t believe that, spend some time with a toddler.  They don’t understand that as parents, when we say no, it’s not because we are trying to keep something good from them.  It’s because we are trying to protect them and keep them from something that could harm them in some way.  

It might be an object, a behavior, an unsafe environment or even unsafe people.  But they don’t want to believe us.  They want what they want, and they want it now.  If they don’t get it, they pitch a fit.

And so do we.

We don’t want to believe God.  We don’t want to believe that we need Him or anyone else for that matter. We think we know best.  We choose to believe that we should be able to do whatever we want, without consequence.  That there shouldn’t be any boundaries placed on us or on our behavior. 

But of course, God knew what the results of our insisting on our own way would be.  What the cost would be of allowing us to have freedom of choice.  He knew that even on a good day, our best behavior wouldn’t be enough to earn our way back to Him.  He knew that there was nothing we could do to help ourselves.  That’s what sin does.  

It hurts us and separates us from those we love.

He knew we needed a plan.  He communicated that plan to us in love letter form, using the Bible.  He wanted to try and convey to generation after generation just how much He cares for us.  He wanted us to know that He would never abandon us or leave us in a helpless state, just as He had promised all of His children who came before us.  

No parent would choose separation from their children.  As our Father in Heaven, He couldn’t imagine living a day without us, let alone an eternity.  He knew that unless He intervened, sin would keep us from Him forever.  So that’s just what God did.  He intervened.  

Romans 5:8 tells us, “. . . that God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  He doesn’t wait for us to try and clean ourselves up.  He loves us just as we are, right where we are.

That’s what love does.

One of the most well-known passages of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. It’s called the love chapter for good reason, as it defines what love is from God’s point of view.  It’s been read and recited during countless wedding ceremonies, and is a reminder to all of us all what real love should look like.  If you aren’t familiar with the passage, here is what it has to say:

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

There are some things listed in that first paragraph that are incredibly impressive by anyone’s standards.  Speaking all the languages on earth?  Having the kind of faith that can move mountains?  Knowing all God’s secrets?  It’s easy to dismiss those as impossible.  

Giving all of our things away to the poor is something we could aspire to if we really wanted.  I think God added that example in there to drive the point home.  He wanted us to know that even if there something on that list we thought was attainable, we could go ahead and do it.  We could even take credit for it.  But even so, if we didn’t do it out of a love for others, none of it would count for much in His eyes.

God, the creator of every language, spoke creation into being and communicates with us in ways we can understand.  He can literally move mountains.  He really does know everything.  And yet what He wanted us to understand, out of everything there is to know, is that love is what matters most.  

He knew that if we could get this one thing right, everything else would find its place.  

That message is summed up best in the very last verse of the chapter. Verse 13 says, “Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.”  

God made clear the value he places on love, and the value he places on us, in both word and deed.  May we have the kind of faith that makes us want to love others like He does, passing on the kind of hope that never disappoints. 

Romans 5:5 “And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us.”

What would happen if we all saw one another through God’s eyes? What does our culture tell us about love that differs from God’s definition?  How does the way we are loving others around us compare with 1 Corinthians 13?

Next time, we’re going to walk through the ways loving people well could change the entire trajectory of communication on social media. Let’s be part of the solution.

Photo by Emmanuel Phaeton on Unsplash

https://www.biblegateway.com

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2020 – A New Year In Review

Welcome to 2020!!!  And so we begin. . . 

With the ringing in of every New Year’s Eve comes the call to reflect on the previous year.  If ever there was an approaching new year, literally asking us to reflect, it would be 2020

What is the most important thing you know walking into 2020?

The number itself is shorthand for perfect vision. For seeing things clearly and as they really are.  It’s also synonymous with hindsight, which by definition is, “the knowledge and understanding of an event only after it has happened”.

The irony is that while we are moving forward numerically, we are being tasked to take with us some clarity from the past. 

So, as we head into 2020, what do you see clearly now that you haven’t before? What events or experiences have you had that have gifted you with a newfound understanding of yourself or others?  What are some things you know now for sure that are going to change how you live your life in the coming days?

Here’s the most important thing I know walking into 2020 . . .

It doesn’t matter what else we do well, if we are not loving people well.

Knowing what to believe today can be challenging, especially when so many voices are constantly claiming different versions of truth.  Technology provides us with an endless supply of opinions from the media, politicians, celebrities, and leaders in the faith community.  Many of those voices are telling us we are free to believe whatever we choose.  That seems to work well . . . right up until the point that we disagree.  

Our nation seems incapable right now of practicing what it preaches.  We all claim to know that we need to treat everyone with kindness and be respectful of those who believe differently than we do.  But more often than not, that theology only extends to those who share the same ideas, beliefs, skin color, and political views as we do.

When we stop and think about it, there’s nothing “extra” we do when we are kind to people who are just like us.  How hard is it?  There’s something about you I like about me.  It really requires nothing from us.

But to choose to be kind to someone we strongly disagree with? Someone who opposes things we really care about?  Someone who seems to purposely push our buttons and if we’re honest, we feel is 100% wrong?  

Those are the moments we have an opportunity to make a real difference in the world.  

To actually be different than what the world is currently offering up. It’s easy to say we want things to change, but until we choose to do something different, we can be sure to get more of the same. 

So, I’m not sure if you already know this . . . lol . . . but if you disagree with someone on social media, especially someone popular or influential, you need to be prepared for a potential public shaming.  

Unfortunately, we have all been witness to what happens to someone on the wrong side of public opinion.  This is neither a new observation nor topic that hasn’t already been addressed.  But it is an ongoing problem with no foreseeable solution in sight.

Some of us may have even experienced this first-hand.  Or maybe we’ve even been the ones doing the shaming.  Regardless of the roles we have or haven’t played, we all know it needs to stop.  The lack of civility is exhausting.  

So, how do we change things?  Where do we go from here?  How do we collectively encourage people to continue important conversations without fear of saying the wrong things?  To not be afraid to use our voices for fear of retaliation.  How should we respond when we are accused of asking the wrong questions when our true intention was seeking greater understanding?  

2020 is asking us to look back and consider our actions.

I think we can all agree on a few things right from the start.  All of us need to take responsibility for facilitating respectful conversations.  We need to hold ourselves accountable.  We need to decide in public spaces, just as in our private lives, that it’s far more important to be kind that it is to be funny, snarky, self-righteous, or any other adjective that would cause anyone else to feel devalued. 

We need to honestly ask ourselves during each interaction whether or not we would say the same thing if the person were sitting across from us, face to face.

Think about what would happen if all of us owned this in 2020. If each of us would commit to measuring and weighing each and every world before it left our mouths.  If we would listen to that voice inside us questioning if what we just typed is really what we want to put out into the world. If it’s really what we want others to know about who we are.

Everyone has something to say.  Everyone has shareworthy thoughts and feelings with the capacity to help and encourage others. But everyone also has the capacity to be hurtful with their words.  We say we know these things, but simply knowing something isn’t enough. We need to infuse our actions with that knowledge.  We need to realize that sometimes backspace and delete are the most important keys on the keyboard.

Many of the problems we face in society today stem from people believing and communicating to others, directly or indirectly, they are “less than” in some way.  That includes what we tell ourselves.  Poor self-esteem, verbal attacks, racism, and everything in between stems from not believing the truth about the value of ourselves or one another.

So, maybe that’s where we need to start.  With the truth.  Our baseline of change needs to be a foundation built on what is true, about ourselves and each other.

The truth is that our worth is not determined by what we or anyone else thinks of us.  

Our value is God given.

My prayer and challenge for all of us is one in the same as we head into 2020 . . . may we all see ourselves and one another the way God sees us.  I’ll share more about how I think we can do that in the next couple of posts.

Wishing you and your loved ones every blessing in the year ahead!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hindsight