It’s truly amazing how we can’t seem to fully appreciate our parent’s good advice until we reach a certain age. Whatever age that is for each of us as individuals, it can easily be precipitated by having children of our own. As my kids started to grow and required age appropriate boundaries, I found myself, as if from a script, effortlessly uttering the very same guidance I received in my own childhood.
My mom had some of the best sayings when I was growing up. Two of the phrases that stand out always went hand in hand. She would tell me, “I’m sorry if what I have to say hurts your feelings, but it’s the truth. I’m not sorry I said it. I’m sorry I had to.”
Ouch. I guess the truth really does hurt.
The main reason much of her instruction was “un-receivable” at the time was because the words were delivered during discipline. Completely understandable, right? We usually aren’t open to hearing that we are wrong and that are parents know better in our teens. The irony is, however, her words immediately gave us common ground. She didn’t want to have to say what she said, and I certainly didn’t want to hear it. But it’s what we both needed to do. Her “apology” for saying what needed to be said let me know she didn’t take pleasure in having to discipline me. It created space for me to examine my own behavior in order to self correct, and encouraged me towards seeing the need to formulate an apology of my own.
It may seem cliche’, but it really was pain with a purpose. She took her job of raising me and my siblings up very seriously and felt there was no higher calling that getting her parenting right. She wanted to be sure that we had everything we needed to grow into people who could deal with reality, tell ourselves the truth about our own behavior, and have both self and other’s awareness regarding our actions, understanding that everything we do affects at least one other person.
So many of her words made themselves at home in my mind and heart without my even realizing it. Over time, they became a deep well of resources that I was able to draw from time and again while raising my own children. To this day she is the person from whom I have learned the most. Her love and care, words and instruction are all woven into the fabric of my being, just like my DNA. I simply wouldn’t be who I am today, as a person or as a parent, without her.
As we approach another Mother’s Day, I find myself more reflective and so very grateful with each passing year for all that she has taught me.
Hebrews 12:11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
What is something your mom did or said that has become a part of who you are, too?
If you are a parent, is it something you incorporate/plan to incorporate into your own parenting or are you/will you do something totally different?
hindsight 
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